How to Know When Your Loved One Needs Assisted Living

Assisted living is not giving up independence, but rather empowering loved ones to perform activities of daily living by offering an around-the-clock team to deliver support and encouragement.

Some of the primary reasons families consider assisted living communities are safety, socialization, wellness, nutrition, and activities of daily living. Each of the factors influences the decision-making process. Family dynamics can complicate discussions. Pre-conceived notions about elder care are a challenging hurdle for many families. The goal is clear, everyone wants what is best for their loved one. Getting everyone to agree what that looks like is another story.

The initial discussion about transitioning a loved one from the familiarity of home can spark a plethora of emotions in the loved ones of an aging and beloved family member. Often the discussion is preceded by months of mental processing and dread at the very thought. When the need for assisted living becomes apparent to the point it becomes a discussion, it can open floodgates of self-doubt and internal disappointment. Care giving family members want to love and honor their loved ones, but the emotional and physical investment can be overwhelming. The difficulty or inability to meet the around-the-clock needs somehow leads to feelings of inadequacy, even shame. Blurred lines between being caregivers and being sons/daughters are frustrating for even the most compassionate family members.

Repeated falls and reoccurring illnesses are an early sign your loved one is losing the ability for self-care. Each hospitalization seems to result in an overall decline from the previous status. Fearing your loved one may be ill or injured for a delayed period of time before recognizing and providing aid, is a heavy cloud loved ones live under. The dread of a phone call in the late hours and fearing the worst becomes a constant state. If elders are caring for one another, the inability to aid in emergency is a distressing reality.

Another sign assisted living may be needed, is the emotional strain on family and family relationships. Families place their personal lives on hold in order to maintain the care and support their loved ones need in the home.

The worry and concern families carry for the safety of loved ones is a heavy load to bear. Forgetfulness can lead to all kinds of risks; unlocked doors, burners left on, wandering. Dedicated families may try to compensate using cameras and phone calls to oversee and offer reminders to loved ones when they recognize the need to do so.

A well-trained staff of care givers and med-techs can offer early intervention to prevent illness and falls. Using prompts and cues, they remind loved ones to stay hydrated and use safe practices for transfers. The encouragement of a care giver can mean all the difference in a resident’s daily routine.

Human beings are born with a need for purpose, which is diminished by social isolation. Assisted living offers engagement and friendships with other residents and staff members. A well-planned activity schedule offers engagements for residents to look forward to. Live music and dancing is a favorite activity of most residents, and often families. And yet, simple current events discussions can be highly enjoyable and engaging for folks who like to discuss news and learn about changes in the lives of those around them.

In the home, loved ones often have limited contact with a few family members. This leads to depression and loneliness. Families have shared that this is one of their greatest challenges when a loved one is living alone or with their care giving family member.

One family member explained that when his mom was living alone with him for nearly a year, she kept saying she was feeling worse all the time. She slept most of the day and experienced frequent falls. She went from using a cane to walker. Friends and family were telling him that he just couldn’t do this much longer. He toured several communities, but they didn’t feel connected to their residents. Staff didn’t seem professional or informed. When he toured our community, he was impressed by the connection’s residents had with staff. He said, “I’m amazed at how wrong I was about life in assisted living. She needed so much more than I could give at home with my dog. As a special ed teacher, I knew she needed more, and I recognized this was a giant family.”

Assisted living families are thrilled to follow the activities of loved ones on social media. They see them engaged in dancing, chair yoga, sing-alongs, and are blown away by how happy their loved ones are. It is heart-warming for them. And this helps reassure them they made a right choice for their loved one.

Wellness and fitness are powerful components of an engaging activity program. By offering classes that provide strengthening and range of motion, residents are healthier and their endorphins and spirits soar. This not only gives better balance and strength, but also reduces fall risk and improves self-image. This is difficult to achieve in the home setting.

Proper nutrition can be a challenge for loved ones at home. Loss of appetite and desire to prepare meals is diminished when living on their own. In assisted living, the dining room is a place to gather and converse while enjoying restaurant-quality meals. An on-site chef designs a menu that is crafted with precision; including a healthy balance of food groups in proper portions, with many options so residents are able to select dishes they truly enjoy.

Activities of daily living can be a challenge for loved ones living at home. They may experience reluctance to shower due to fear of falling, or loss of interest in self-grooming. It may take hours for them to shower, brush teeth, fix hair, and get dressed. This often results in them opting out altogether.

Whereas in assisted living, with a little support from care givers, they can get ready in a fairly short amount of time and then look forward to gathering with other residents and enjoying their day.

If you’re considering assisted living, the time may be now. Research communities and find one that fits your loved one and your family. Tour the communities in your area to determine their programs are solid and the staff is well-trained and compassionate. When visiting communities, talk to the residents. Ask them what they enjoy about their community and why they chose to live there. Talk to the staff who are delivering care and ask questions. They should be experts in their field and will light up when they talk about their residents.

The decision to choose assisted living for your loved one doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Find a community that will partner with you in the transition and ongoing care of your loved one.

Let our family care for yours!